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Spend Your Time Wisely

A shiny new phone doesn’t improve your life. But new information can.

The time you spend reading about and thinking about things is time you cannot spend on important things, like good books, inspiring movies, or simply reflecting on your life.

Take a moment now to think about how you spend your time. Can you spend it just a little better this week than last?

Work outside

I’ll be doing some outside work at our summer cottage this weekend. There are always things to do in preparation for winter. If you live somewhere with a yard or a garden, spend some time doing work outside this weekend. If you don’t have an outside area that is your responsibility, pick up a trash bag and clean up an area close to where you live.

Physical tasks like raking leaves, chopping firewood, or felling trees gives you a feeling of satisfaction that intellectual work on your computer doesn’t. Do something with your body this weekend to start next week with a positive feeling of accomplishment.

Self-esteem Against Bullying

October is National Bullying Prevention Month, and there are also bullying prevention weeks and days. These efforts are misnamed and should be called “bullying awareness” instead. Preventing bullying is not something that happens in one day, week, or month.

To prevent bullying, and to lessen the impact when it does happen, we need to work on self-esteem. That is a long-term effort. Teachers can include it in the curriculum, but once we leave school, we are on our own. If you have been the victim of bullying, look for tools that help you improve how you feel about yourself.

Put Your Phone to Bed

I love how this Yale Professor has made a tiny bed for her phone. She recognized that she had a hard time turning it off at night, and found a way to put it to bed. She has shared this tip and four others for coping with anxiety and stress on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCQim9VrnDY.

Do you have a bed for your phone? Maybe you should have.

The Traveling Mindset

Some people are missing travel so much that they will pay to eat in a parked A380 super jumbo. Singapore airlines quickly sold out the first dinners and have added more dates.

I enjoy traveling, but I actually don’t miss sitting on airplanes. What I enjoy is the mindset of traveling. Coronavirus limits our physical options, but it does not prevent us from enjoying the feeling of traveling. Make plans to travel somewhere, even if only just outside your city.

Set Goals for Every Day

If you are working from home, you don’t have the physical separation of work and leisure you have been used to. That can make the days run together, and lead to feeling disconnected and unenthusiastic about your life.

To fight this feeling, make sure you set goals with different timeframes. Each day should achieve a couple of mini-goals, and each week should have at least one goal. If your work doesn’t provide you with goals like this, you will have to make them up yourself. It doesn’t matter if they are private or professional goals. What is your goal for this week?

When the scared kid is holding your client back

Image by Pixabay

The emotions where visible, when my resent client talked about, how he kept stopping himself for moving forward. He would start on a project, and then, when he had completed just over half the project, “things” got in the way.

Using the emotions as a doorway in. We went back to a situation in childhood, where he had been ridiculed in front of the class for a project, he had spent quite an amount of time on. As he sensed himself in the classroom, he could hear his classmates laugh, and feel how his whole body had tensed up to keep him from crying. And he realized that the little boy right there, had made a decision to never complete a project again, in order to protect himself from being hurt once more.

Guiding my client into a dialog with his younger age self, he was able to comfort the young self and support him in moving through the emotions. And they both realized, that completing projects was something they truly wanted.    

Later that week my client happily shared with me how he had gone home and worked on his recent project. And had completed it within a few days.

Being able to use the emotions as a doorway into helping our clients, is an effective way to uncover and work through the roots to our clients problems. And RIM (Regenerating Image in Memory) is a great tool to have in your toolbox, when you are searching for the best way to help your client.

You can learn more by participating in a free online group demonstration. Here you can get a taste of how RIM can benefit yourself and your clients and learn more about the RIM method. Sign up to join the next available call here

Doing the webinar you will be guided through a group RIM experienced. Doing the discussion afterwards, you will learn more about the RIM method, have time to ask your questions, and find out if RIM is a good fit for you. Sign up here  

To Learn more about the RIM method and upcoming trainings Click here

Speak Your Voice

Speak Your Voice

”Stupid,” ”Wrong answer,” “Not relevant” were the responses I usually got when I tried to speak up in class. Or I was simply ignored. Over time, my voice began disappearing. It became less and less audible as my internal fear of receiving a harsh reaction and being ridiculed grew. 

During my school years, I had speech therapy multiple times to help me raise my voice. The goal was that my classmates and others could simply hear what I said. I learned to articulate more clearly, to use my body to put more sound into my voice. And yes, it did help in the therapy sessions. But it didn’t raise my voice or made it clearer outside of the safe place in the therapist’s office. Speech therapy tackled the mechanical aspects of my voice issues, but it didn’t address the emotional issues – my extremely low self-esteem and my anxiety. And these were the main reasons my voice had shut down. 

I used to believe I was an introvert. Today, I love networking. I used to think I couldn’t speak in front of others, today I love speaking and teaching around the world. The shift came when I started to work on my limiting beliefs, my anxiety issues and the deep emotional blocks created by my teacher and others who bullied me over the years.  I did it, and you can, too. 

Internal fears and blocking beliefs will define how you show up in your life today. When you choose to work through these blocks, you start to show up differently and can create a different life. As one of my clients said: “With my old belief, I would have taken the boring job as a sales assistant well inside my comfort zone.” Instead, she went for the other offer as a project manager for a major event. Before she was able to take that decision, she had to work on her low self-esteem and the belief that nobody would listen to her. Today, she is happy in her job and can’t believe that she ever considered taking the sales assistant job. 

Are you ready to work through the blocks that stop you? Join my free community where you can find resources to help you move forward in life. 

Goal Setting

It’s the start of 2019, and many people are setting goals. How can you make it more likely that you achieve yours?

First, you need to own your own life. This gives you the capacity to own and achieve your goals.

If you’re not achieving your goals, there is probably something blocking you. Your feelings today are often caused by something that happened in your past. One of the things I experience very often in my practice is that people who have been bullied early in life have a low self esteem. They are having a hard time to achieve what they really want because they do not believe they can. Once you have worked on your self esteem to make it possible to will make it more likely that you achieve your goals.

I’m talking a lot about how to conquer your past and increase you self-esteem in my new book Life after Bullying. You can buy it on Amazon.com or other major bookstores.