fbpx

Unchecked Power?

Does your boss at work have unchecked power? Over the centuries, we have learned that every power needs to be balanced by some other power. That’s why successful societies have split power between legislature, executive, and judiciary. That’s why companies have HR departments and maybe even whistleblower procedures.

Take a moment to think about how you would report bullying in your workplace. Are your anti-bullying measures effective, or do they exist only on paper? Do you believe somebody would take action? If you are not confident anybody would react, that is a red flag. It doesn’t mean there is bullying in your organization. But it means you cannot feel safe. That will affect your health and wellbeing. You might want to consider changing to another department or another company.

They Can Talk, But You Don’t Have to Listen

Free speech means people can say almost anything. It doesn’t mean you have to listen. Elon Musk has just bought Twitter and wants fewer restrictrions. That will make Twitter an even less welcoming place.

For your mental health and sanity, spend your time on social media in the well behaved corners of the internet. That means moderated groups on places like Facebook and LinkedIn. These groups have human administrators who will react if you report bullying.

Overcome the Effects of Bullying

The science about the effects of bullying is piling up, and it is bad. A recent paper in the Harward Review of Psychiatry showed that a girl who has been bullied is 27 times more likely to have a panic disorder as a young adult. A boy who has been bullied is 18 times more likely to attempt suicide.

Fortunately, there are also very effective methods to overcome the long-term effects of bullying and other psychic trauma. There is not much scientific research yet, but with the RIM method I use, almost every client has experienced a significant improvement with just three to five sessions. I am a Master RIM practitioner and RIM Trainer, and I would love the opportunity to tell you more. Please schedule a free call with me online.

You can also read about the RIM method on my website.

Build Bullying Resilience

Bullying is now a criminal offense in France. There are high fines and the penalties for the most severe bullying go up to ten years in jail. More important than the penalties is the additional teacher training that the new law also provides.

Anti-bullying laws and rules are necessary, but they are only one small part of the fight against bullying. We cannot force the bullies to seek the therapy they need, but we can make sure that bystanders are encouraged to step in. And we can give those at risk of becoming victims tools to improve their self-esteem to prevent bullying from happening. You can find many of the most powerful tools I have found in my book Life after Bullying

Anti-Bullying Rules Must be Enforced

“Eric Lander is a successful researcher, but everyone knows that he is a bully.” That was the comment offered by another researcher when the top science advisor to U.S. President Biden announced his resignation.

I am disappointed that important positions are still filled with bullies. President Biden said that he would not tolerate bullying. However, it was not until Politico magazine had leaked the result of an internal investigation that he was forced to leave. If it hadn’t been for the journalists, Professor Lander would still be bullying his staff.

Getting rid of bullying in the workplace requires 1) rules that bullying will not be tolerated and 2) that the rules are enforced. The White House failed on number 2. Your workplace will have the rules, but if they are not enforced, consider looking for another place to work.

Bullying sticks in the body

You might think that bullying from many years ago no longer affects you, but it does. You might feel that you get stressed before your collagues? People with traumatic experiences like bullying in their past have a lower stress capacity, lower self-esteem and a greater risk of anxiety and depression.

I’d like to help you. I have felt like that and it took me many years to recover from the vicious bullying I was subject to in my childhood. I have written the book “Life after Bullying” to share the method and tools I have used, and use today in my client work. Please check it out, or call me for free to hear how I can help you.

You can read about the book here: https://www.lifeafterbullying.com/book/ and you can book a free intro call with me here: https://calendly.com/lottevesterli/free-intro

Fight Bullying with Your Mind

Social media has made bullying worse. The tone online is much harsher, and people will make horrible comments to complete strangers. That makes it hard for bullying victims and other victims of trauma to participate in open online communities.

It has not been a priority for Facebook, Twitter and others to crack down. Fortunately, politicians and regulators are starting to demand they do more than ban a single bully here and there.

Twitter just rolled out a new feature that looks at a tweet before it is sent. If the software thinks the message is bullying, the user gets a prompt to review the message before it is sent. That’s a good idea and something all social media platforms should implement.

However, your mind is much more powerful than technology. If you work on past trauma and build up your self-esteem, mean comments will not have any power over you. Contact me for free to learn more about how I can help.

Does Your Job Provide Happiness?

Are you one of the oppressed workers of the world? This year, not many places had the traditions large gatherings for International Worker’s Day on May 1st. But many people use this day to reflect on their lives and careers. You are not an oppressed worker in a hard and dangerous job in a British 19th-century steel mill, but you might not be in the right job for you.

There are only so many minutes left in your life, and you are spending many of them on your job. Some people are fortunate to have a job that makes them happy. I’ve been happy in my earlier work helping people as an occupational therapist. I’m even happier now in my own practice helping victims of emotional trauma overcome their past. Other people have a job they are not that passionate about, but which provides the fuel for their life outside work. An old friend of mine has a regular IT job, which pays for him to pursue his passion for playing folk music. He makes enough money to live, to buy and maintain instruments, and travel to the festivals he wants.

Your life is yours to live, and you can choose either path. But if you have a job where you are bullied by your boss, your co-workers, or your customers, you need to find a way to move on to other things.

Bullying is Expensive

Workplace bullying is extremely expensive for employers. There is lost productivity of the bullying victim. Once the victim leaves, the company has to spend time and money finding a replacement. Then there is a cost because it takes a while before the new employee learns the ropes and becomes productive. But the largest cost is the loss of engagement that affects everyone.

An engaged and enthusiastic employee is more than twice as productive as a disengaged one. When people witness bullying happen to others, and they see no intervention from the company, they become disengaged. If the company is not protecting your colleague from bullying, do they really care about you? That’s why allowing just one bully drags the whole department down. And that’s why it is good business and should be a leadership priority to root out bullying.

Start a Book Today

Reading a book can change your life. I have read several books that have had a huge impact on my life, and I have written one that readers tell me have had a huge impact on their lives.

Today is World Book Day. If you’re not already reading a book with the potential to change your life, pick one up today. If you have ever been bullied or had other traumatic experiences, I recommend my own “Life after Bullying.” It contains the method and tools I have developed over many years as I fought my way out of the long-term consequences of severe childhood bullying.

It’s on sale at Amazon.com (https://vester.li/wbd21), and many other bookstores are also running promotions. Get a book today.