fbpx

Unchecked Power?

Does your boss at work have unchecked power? Over the centuries, we have learned that every power needs to be balanced by some other power. That’s why successful societies have split power between legislature, executive, and judiciary. That’s why companies have HR departments and maybe even whistleblower procedures.

Take a moment to think about how you would report bullying in your workplace. Are your anti-bullying measures effective, or do they exist only on paper? Do you believe somebody would take action? If you are not confident anybody would react, that is a red flag. It doesn’t mean there is bullying in your organization. But it means you cannot feel safe. That will affect your health and wellbeing. You might want to consider changing to another department or another company.

Dress for Success

Are you wearing the right clothes today? What you wear affects your mood. You can set your day on a good track when you stand in front of your closet in the morning.

Some people claim that specific colors affect our confidence and mood in predictable ways, but it’s not that simple. What matters is how you personally feel about the clothes you wear. While one person might feel great in bright, colorful clothes, another might feel best in solid earth tones.

When you pick up an item of clothing in the morning, close your eyes and spend a few seconds to experience the feeling this item gives you today. If it matches your goals and schedule for the day – energetic, creative, or relaxed – wear that piece. If it doesn’t, pick up another one. You can reach your goals easier with the right clothes.

Keep a Journal

If I asked you, could you find out what you did last Thursday? People who are feeling stuck and unhappy with their lives often complain that each day looks like the previous one. That is not correct. Each day is different, but you just don’t notice.

Like your phone and your computer, our brains do not have unlimited memory. That is why your brain doesn’t store every detail of every day. Similar days get lumped together in your memory, which is why last Thursday might have ended up the bucket of “normal workday” without any details.

To overcome this feeling, keep a journal. Every day write down something good that happened, or something you learned. When you feel stuck, page through your journal and recollect all the things that did happen, and all the learning and growth you did experience.

I talk a lot more about journaling in my book “Life after Bullying.” Read more about my book here.

Winter is Over. Get Outside

Winter is over. At least according to the calendar, which claims March as the first month of Spring. If you have been staying in your cave like a sleeping bear, now is the time to get out.

Fresh air, daylight and exercise are crucial elements of your physical and mental well-being. You have to get outside. No matter how much you sweat in aerobics class or how fast you run on a treadmill, your body needs to see daylight and breath fresh air. Take out your calendar and add an appointment with yourself to take a walk outside tomorrow.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Today every flower shop is helping you remember to show your appreciation for your partner. But what about tomorrow? Think of a way to incorporate some closeness and appreciation into your daily routines. 

You Have to Touch

When you have lived with the same partner for a long time, it can feel like something is missing. One of the most important things you can do for your relationship is to make sure you physically touch several time each day. It does not have to be a bear hug or anything sexual. Any simple touch trigger oxytocin in the body, and that strengthens trust and connection between you. Find a way to touch the shoulder, arm, or hand of your partner every day and feel the difference. 

The Year of the Tiger

The Year of the Tiger just started. If you live somewhere with many people from China and Southeast Asia, you couldn’t miss the noise of the New Years’ celebrations yesterday.

Tigers symbolize courage and bravery. People born in a Tiger year are thought to be natural leaders who love to take on a challenge. The Year of the Tiger also symbolizes being more courageous and stepping outside your comfort zone. That is good advice, whether you believe in Chinese astrology or not.

Gong hei fat choy – wishing you great happiness and prosperity.

Does Your Job Provide Happiness?

Are you one of the oppressed workers of the world? This year, not many places had the traditions large gatherings for International Worker’s Day on May 1st. But many people use this day to reflect on their lives and careers. You are not an oppressed worker in a hard and dangerous job in a British 19th-century steel mill, but you might not be in the right job for you.

There are only so many minutes left in your life, and you are spending many of them on your job. Some people are fortunate to have a job that makes them happy. I’ve been happy in my earlier work helping people as an occupational therapist. I’m even happier now in my own practice helping victims of emotional trauma overcome their past. Other people have a job they are not that passionate about, but which provides the fuel for their life outside work. An old friend of mine has a regular IT job, which pays for him to pursue his passion for playing folk music. He makes enough money to live, to buy and maintain instruments, and travel to the festivals he wants.

Your life is yours to live, and you can choose either path. But if you have a job where you are bullied by your boss, your co-workers, or your customers, you need to find a way to move on to other things.