I just let a
buzzing insect out of my office. It had gotten in somehow and was now trying in
vain to fly out through the window glass. It was unable to understand the
invisible barrier holding it back, and kept trying the same thing.
We humans
are not all that different. Sometimes, we realize we are not moving in the
direction we want in our life, but respond by trying harder. When you have your
nose against the glass, you cannot see it.
The power
humans have, and insects don’t have, is the ability to step back from the
situation. When you gain perspective, you can figure out what is holding you
back and how to move forward. Sometimes, you are able to consider you situation
yourself and find a solution. Sometimes, talking with a friend can help. And
sometime, you need to talk to a professional
therapist. Don’t keep buzzing against invisible barriers. Get help.
To stay
healthy, you need to communicate with someone. Working from home removes the
small talk that is part of a day in the office, and starting a video meeting is
like going into a meeting room: The setting limits off-topic conversation.
If you live
with someone, make sure to create time for conversation and don’t just spend
the evening slumped in the sofa with a screen each. If you live alone, call
someone on the phone for a chat. Again, video feels like a meeting. Just use an
old-fashioned voice call. You can even call people while you take a walk and do
two good things for yourself at the same time.
China is
stepping up the fight against bullying with a new law to protect children
online. It says internet companies have to take “necessary measures”
against cyberbullying, including blocking and deleting content.
The more
internet companies do, the better. And if you’re the victim of cyberbullying
you should use the tools to report bullying.
But what you really need is time away from screens. You need to process and heal from past trauma in order to stop bullying and ignore it when it does happen. I have my ABC method (Attitude, Breathing, Choices), and there are others. You are free to reach out to me at no cost to see how I can help you.
A shiny new phone doesn’t improve your life. But new information can.
The time you spend reading about and thinking about things is time you cannot spend on important things, like good books, inspiring movies, or simply reflecting on your life.
Take a moment now to think about how you spend your time. Can you spend it just a little better this week than last?
I’ll be
doing some outside work at our summer cottage this weekend. There are always
things to do in preparation for winter. If you live somewhere with a yard or a
garden, spend some time doing work outside this weekend. If you don’t have an
outside area that is your responsibility, pick up a trash bag and clean up an
area close to where you live.
Physical tasks like raking leaves, chopping firewood, or felling trees gives you a feeling of satisfaction that intellectual work on your computer doesn’t. Do something with your body this weekend to start next week with a positive feeling of accomplishment.
October is National Bullying Prevention Month, and there are also bullying prevention weeks and days. These efforts are misnamed and should be called “bullying awareness” instead. Preventing bullying is not something that happens in one day, week, or month.
To prevent bullying,
and to lessen the impact when it does happen, we need to work on self-esteem.
That is a long-term effort. Teachers can include it in the curriculum, but once
we leave school, we are on our own. If you have been the victim of bullying,
look for tools that help you improve how you feel about yourself.
I love how this Yale Professor has made a tiny bed for her phone. She recognized that she had a hard time turning it off at night, and found a way to put it to bed. She has shared this tip and four others for coping with anxiety and stress on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCQim9VrnDY.
Do you have a bed for your phone? Maybe you should have.
Some people
are missing travel so much that they will pay to eat in a parked A380 super
jumbo. Singapore airlines quickly sold out the first dinners and have added
more dates.
I enjoy
traveling, but I actually don’t miss sitting on airplanes. What I enjoy is the
mindset of traveling. Coronavirus limits our physical options, but it does not
prevent us from enjoying the feeling of traveling. Make plans to travel
somewhere, even if only just outside your city.
If you are working from home, you don’t have the physical separation of work and leisure you have been used to. That can make the days run together, and lead to feeling disconnected and unenthusiastic about your life.
To fight
this feeling, make sure you set goals with different timeframes. Each day
should achieve a couple of mini-goals, and each week should have at least one
goal. If your work doesn’t provide you with goals like this, you will have to
make them up yourself. It doesn’t matter if they are private or professional
goals. What is your goal for this week?
The
emotions where visible, when my resent client talked about, how he kept
stopping himself for moving forward. He would start on a project, and then,
when he had completed just over half the project, “things” got in the way.
Using the
emotions as a doorway in. We went back to a situation in childhood, where he had
been ridiculed in front of the class for a project, he had spent quite an amount
of time on. As he sensed himself in the classroom, he could hear his classmates
laugh, and feel how his whole body had tensed up to keep him from crying. And
he realized that the little boy right there, had made a decision to never
complete a project again, in order to protect himself from being hurt once more.
Guiding my
client into a dialog with his younger age self, he was able to comfort the young
self and support him in moving through the emotions. And they both realized,
that completing projects was something they truly wanted.
Later that
week my client happily shared with me how he had gone home and worked on his recent
project. And had completed it within a few days.
Being able
to use the emotions as a doorway into helping our clients, is an effective way
to uncover and work through the roots to our clients problems. And RIM
(Regenerating Image in Memory) is a great tool to have in your toolbox, when you
are searching for the best way to help your client.
You can learn more by participating in a free online group demonstration. Here you can get a taste of how RIM can benefit yourself and your clients and learn more about the RIM method. Sign up to join the next available call here
Doing the webinar you will be guided through a group RIM experienced. Doing the discussion afterwards, you will learn more about the RIM method, have time to ask your questions, and find out if RIM is a good fit for you. Sign up here
To Learn more about the RIM method and upcoming trainings Click here