Lotte Vesterli - Lotte Vesterli

Finding Calmness Within

Lotte Vesterli on November 5, 2020

Many people ask me how to find calm in these stressful and challenging times. To help all of you, I have put together an online seminar together with a colleague.

You’ll learn techniques to help you handle the internal discomfort caused by harassment, trauma, discrimination, loss of a loved one, betrayal, and many other things. The online setting is ideal for this if you suffer from social anxiety – it is a safe, close group and you can join with or without your camera on 😉

The seminar is on Thursday, Nov 11th from 5 pm to 7 pm European Time (CET). The cost is only 36 Euro and these two hours can change your life! Read more and sign up here:

https://www.lottevesterli.com/findingcalmnesswithin

Accept Different Opinions

Lotte Vesterli on November 3, 2020

Today is election day in the United States, and I know many of my clients are worried. Remember that your task is not to save your country from the other side. Your task is to vote for who you believe will be best for your country.

The shouting before the election has many people saying that their opponents must be evil. Don’t believe that. A lot of people have a different opinion from yours, but going through life thinking your neighbors are evil will just make the election anxiety permanent. No matter what the outcome, accept the fact that some people don’t agree with you and that’s okay. That will help you heal after this divisive time.

Celebrate Your Wins

Lotte Vesterli on November 2, 2020

With all the negative news around, it is extra important that you celebrate your small wins. If you set out to rake the leaves on your lawn this weekend, and you did it, you have earned the right to a small celebration. If you decided to take a walk every day last week and you did it, you are allowed to celebrate.

It is an important weapon against overwhelm and anxiety to make plans for things that are within your control. When you have followed your plan, you have achieved something. The horrors of the world around you cannot take that achievement from you.

What are you planning to achieve this week?

Keeping Traditions

Lotte Vesterli on October 30, 2020

Trick-or-treating is being discouraged in Denmark where I live, and maybe because the world is already scary, there are few scary decorations. But we do still have the carved pumpkins and the annual competition for the largest pumpkin (over 2000 pounds this year). In these anxious times, traditions are a stabilizing factor. Hold on to your jack-o-lantern or your pumpkin pie.

Bullying Immunity

Lotte Vesterli on October 29, 2020

In Japan, some school districts are trying to implement Artificial Intelligence (AI) computer systems to help them respond better to bullying. That’s not as stupid as it sounds.

Ideally, teachers would be aware of the bullying and respond immediately. But Japan has hundreds of thousands of bullying incidents reported each year and don’t have the resources to deal with all of them. The idea of the computer system is to help draw attention to the worst cases so that the anti-bullying and victim support effort can be concentrated where it helps most.

This can be one part of the fight against bullying. But the most important part remains to make sure that everybody has the self-love and self-esteem that will make them immune to bullying.

Do Your Part

Lotte Vesterli on October 28, 2020

All over the world, “pandemic fatigue” is spreading. After eight months of restrictions, everybody is tired and many have started ignoring advice or even protesting restrictions.

You cannot solve that. Bullying victims and other anxiety sufferers tend to worry about a lot of things that are outside of their control, but you cannot stop this pandemic. What you can do is to behave sensibly and adhere to the official guidelines where you are. Don’t read articles and watch news stories about the places where it’s bad. Your media will always tell you the story from where it’s worst.

Think about the sensible precautions you are taking, and think about all the sensible people all over the world who are doing the same. We’re fighting this fight together.

Notice What You’re Good At

Lotte Vesterli on October 27, 2020

To improve your self-esteem, make a list of the things you’re good at. We tend to look at other people and envy them that they can play an instrument, cook, fix computers, or do other things that we can’t. But we’re not good at appreciating what we’re good at ourselves.

Everybody is good at something, and other people will mention it when they notice you demonstrating your skill at decorating, woodworking, or anything else. Unfortunately, unless we tune in, we don’t hear it. Start your day by saying to yourself: “Today I will notice all the praise I get.” That primes your brain to really listen to the compliments you get. You’ll find you get more than you think.

Improve your Workspace

Lotte Vesterli on October 26, 2020

Just like many other places, we’re seeing increased coronavirus-based restrictions here in Denmark. We’re not going back to normal for a while, which also means that you will probably be working from home for weeks or months yet.

You probably set up a home workspace back when you started working from home, but take a look at it again. Can you make some improvements to your chair, your desk height, the placement of your keyboard and mouse/trackpad, or something else? During your next break, google “home working ergonomics” and find an improvement tip to implement this week.

Get Outside

Lotte Vesterli on October 23, 2020

We all need some way of handling the stressful situations that life sometimes throws at us. In New York, some of their bars have apparently started offering axe throwing. Despite our Viking heritage, I haven’t heard of bars here in Denmark with that option on the menu.

But physical effort does have a useful balancing effect. If your work keeps you in front of a computer or a desk all week, the weekend is a time for you to use your body instead of your brain. Don’t just go to the gym and run on a treadmill. Do something outside where you get fresh outside and sunlight. I will take a walk and enjoy the fall colors. What will you do?