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Can You Take a Compliment?

Lotte Vesterli on March 1, 2022

Can you take a compliment? Surprisingly, many people have a hard time accepting a compliment. They brush it off, saying “oh, that’s nothing.” That diminishes the compliment for both yourself and the giver. Instead, embrace and enjoy all the positive feedback you get.

I have found that many of my clients have a hard time accepting compliments. It can be a symptom of low self-esteem. However, becoming aware of compliments and accepting them is also a way to build yourself up. If you have my book Life after Bullying, review chapter 15 on feedback today. After all, it is World Compliment Day 😉

Are You Prepared?

Lotte Vesterli on February 24, 2022

This morning, the citizens of Ukraine woke up to the sound of a Russian invasion. After weeks of threats, some people were prepared and some were not. You might not live in a place where a Russian invasion is likely, but you might still be affected by natural and man-made disasters.

You have pushed the risk out of your conscious mind, but your unconscious mind is continually evaluating it.

The better prepared you are for the unexpected, the more your mind will be is at ease. The events of today are a reminder to find out how to prepare yourself. In Sweden, every household recently received a 20-page folder called “If crisis or war comes.” Find the official recommendation for emergency preparedness from your local authorities and prepare yourself a little better. It will calm your mind.

Single Tasking Day

Lotte Vesterli on February 22, 2022

Today 2/22 is “Single Tasking Day.” That’s a made-up holiday, but there is a serious purpose behind it. We pride ourselves our ability to multi-task, but we are not really good at it. Unless one of the tasks is completely automatic – like walking or breathing – we are not actually multi-tasking. We are just switching our attention between several tasks. And every time we switch, we lose a little (or a lot) of time before we are productive on the new task.

Celebrate Single Tasking Day by selecting one task from your long list of half-finished tasks, and work on that one until it is complete. Every incomplete task takes up space in your mind. Notice how you feel lighter and more in control of your life once you can cross that task completely off your list. #SingleTaskingDay

Anti-Bullying Rules Must be Enforced

Lotte Vesterli on February 17, 2022

“Eric Lander is a successful researcher, but everyone knows that he is a bully.” That was the comment offered by another researcher when the top science advisor to U.S. President Biden announced his resignation.

I am disappointed that important positions are still filled with bullies. President Biden said that he would not tolerate bullying. However, it was not until Politico magazine had leaked the result of an internal investigation that he was forced to leave. If it hadn’t been for the journalists, Professor Lander would still be bullying his staff.

Getting rid of bullying in the workplace requires 1) rules that bullying will not be tolerated and 2) that the rules are enforced. The White House failed on number 2. Your workplace will have the rules, but if they are not enforced, consider looking for another place to work.

You Never Know How Much Time You Have

Lotte Vesterli on February 15, 2022

You don’t know how long time you have. Last year, a woman in Canada awoke to a loud noise in the middle of the night. Jumping out of bed, she turned on the light and saw a hole in her ceiling right above the bed. And on the bed was a 3-pound meteorite that had punched right through her roof, missing her head by inches.

It is exceedingly rare for people to get killed by rocks from space. But disease and everyday accidents also strike without warning. There is no day that is “just another day.” Every day is a unique gift. Make sure you use it well.

How will you have improved your life or the world at the end of today?

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Lotte Vesterli on February 14, 2022

Today every flower shop is helping you remember to show your appreciation for your partner. But what about tomorrow? Think of a way to incorporate some closeness and appreciation into your daily routines. 

You Have to Touch

Lotte Vesterli on February 10, 2022

When you have lived with the same partner for a long time, it can feel like something is missing. One of the most important things you can do for your relationship is to make sure you physically touch several time each day. It does not have to be a bear hug or anything sexual. Any simple touch trigger oxytocin in the body, and that strengthens trust and connection between you. Find a way to touch the shoulder, arm, or hand of your partner every day and feel the difference. 

Break the Loop

Lotte Vesterli on February 3, 2022

Winter will last another six weeks, according to Punxsutawney Phil. Phil is a weather-predicting groundhog, and you might know him from his role in the 1990s comedy Groundhog Day. In the movie, Bill Murray’s character is stuck in a time loop, experiencing Groundhog Day (Feb 2nd) over and over.

Are you also experiencing what feels like the same day over and over? This is typical human condition, and it has become more acute during pandemic lockdowns. But you don’t have to accept it. In the movie, Bill Murray’s character eventually breaks out of the loop. You can, too.

The best way to break the loop is to learn something new. If you work on a new skill, a new language, or a hobby every day, each day builds on the skills and knowledge from the day before. Get a learning project going if you don’t have one already.

The Year of the Tiger

Lotte Vesterli on February 2, 2022

The Year of the Tiger just started. If you live somewhere with many people from China and Southeast Asia, you couldn’t miss the noise of the New Years’ celebrations yesterday.

Tigers symbolize courage and bravery. People born in a Tiger year are thought to be natural leaders who love to take on a challenge. The Year of the Tiger also symbolizes being more courageous and stepping outside your comfort zone. That is good advice, whether you believe in Chinese astrology or not.

Gong hei fat choy – wishing you great happiness and prosperity.

Use your phone less

Lotte Vesterli on January 27, 2022

How often do you pick up your phone? If you are average, it is 58 times in a day. That is the number of times the average user interacts with the phone, so it does not include just checking the time. If you have an iPhone, activate the Screen Time feature under Settings to get your number. On Android, look under Settings, Digital Wellbeing and parental controls.

When you have found your number, challenge yourself to get it down. We only have so much time in our lives, and we are spending too much of it glued to our phones.